


Happy Anniversary, Gibbs

by Jacie



Series: NCIS: Alpha Series [8]
Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-10
Updated: 2010-01-10
Packaged: 2017-11-19 11:36:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/572836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacie/pseuds/Jacie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony sets out to find the truth about Gibbs' feelings for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Anniversary, Gibbs

The evening they played out Tony’s fantasy turned out alright in the end. Tony especially liked being served breakfast in bed the next morning, thanks to Abby. He and Gibbs wound up with plenty of crumbs in the bed before they were finished. Tony was just thankful no juice or coffee was spilled. The remembrance brought a smile to his face. And a slap to the back of his head.

“DiNozzo, quit your daydreaming and get back to work.”

“Yes, Boss.”

Tony spent a lot of time thinking about his relationship with Jethro Gibbs. He really wanted to get reassurances from Ducky, but felt it would only anger Gibbs if he told Ducky they were sleeping together. Gibbs said he hadn’t told Ducky and surely there was some reason for that. Ziva and Jenny both clearly were against the hook up from the moment they knew. Tony looked over at McGee and smiled. McGee nodded and smiled back. The Probie didn’t know a damn thing about relationships.

Tony knew where he needed to go. 

The moment Tony rose from his chair, McGee matched his moves. “Tony, where are you headed?”

“Have to ask Abby something,” Tony replied, never looking back or breaking his stride.

McGee barely made it into the elevator before the door closed. “I’ll go with you.”

“I needed to speak to her privately, McProbster.” Tony tapped a rhythm against the elevator wall with his knuckle, nodding his head to the beat. He left the elevator at Abby’s floor, slightly annoyed when McGee continued to follow him.

Outside Abby’s door, Tony stopped and faced McGee. “What part of private conversation do you not understand, McGoof?”

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something, Tony.”

“Aww, that’s sweet,” Tony cooed, petting McGee’s hair. “Does it have to be right now?”

McGee lowered his voice. “I was just curious about some things.”

Tony hated to miss any opportunity to make McGee feel uncomfortable, so he pushed him back against a wall, barring his escape by pressing his hands against the wall on either side of McGee’s shoulders. Moving in closer, Tony sniffed at McGee’s neck. “Like most animals who hunt, I can smell fear,” he whispered. 

McGee looked suitably nervous, first nodding, then turning his head and looking down the hallway.

“What was so important that you chased me down here?” Tony asked softly, moving one hand up to stroke McGee’s hair. “Do you want to know what it’s like to be had by Jethro Gibbs? You want to know what it feels like to have his hands moving across your skin, or how deeply he can impale your body with his cock?”

A blush began ebbing across McGee’s face and his breathing became heavier. “Not that,” he whispered looking away from Tony.

“Tony! Why are you torturing McGee?” Abby was standing in the doorway to her lab, her arms crossed in front of her as she chided him.

Smiling widely, Tony backed off, gently slapping McGee’s cheek after pushing off of the wall. Leaving McGee behind, he strutted into Abby’s lab randomly poking at her machines and pressing buttons. “I wanted to talk to you, Abby. McProbie tailed me down here like a lost puppy.”

Grabbing McGee’s hand, Abby pulled him into the lab. “Tony! Stop touching my machines. You know how sensitive they are.”

“Only if you stop touching my Probie. He’s quite sensitive, too, you know.”

“Okay, both of you in my office. I can see we need to talk.” Still holding onto McGee’s hand, Abby took Tony’s hand as well, pulling them both toward her office and closing the sliding glass door behind her. Once they were all facing each other, she asked, “What is up with you two?”

Tony folded his arms and leaned against Abby’s desk. “I had questions for you, Abby. I wanted to talk to you in private and McSnoopy won’t take ‘scram’ as an order.”

“Okay, McGee, why are you following Tony?”

“I wanted to ask him something. Private.”

“So ask,” Abby encouraged him.

“Well, you’re here which makes the conversation less than private.”

Abby glared at him. “Timmy, you and I do not keep secrets from each other, do we?”

“No, we don’t,” he admitted.

“So talk already. The sooner we clear this up, the sooner we can all get back to work and keep Gibbs off our butts. Except for Tony, who seems to like Gibbs on his. Just, not at work.”

“I just wanted to know, Tony, when you were teasing me about not being manly and implying to people that I was gay, was that for personal reasons?”

“Probie, did you just ask if I was hitting on you?”

McGee thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yes, I believe I did.”

Tony nearly fell over with laughter, then walked over to McGee and hugged him. “That’s a good one. I’m going to have to remember that. For a long, long, long time. No, McNotmytype, I was not hitting on you. I enjoy making fun at your expense. That’s just part of our working relationship. Part of my job as Senior Field Agent is to develop you as a Junior Field Agent. Poking fun at you is merely one part of the process. And if telling every woman in the building that you’re gay helps cut down on the competition, it doesn’t hurt anything.”

“Except me.”

“It’s not my fault you’re believable as gay. Know what’s funny? If someone spread a rumor right now that Gibbs was having a relationship with a member of his team, who would be the last one to be suspected? Me! Why? Because I don’t exude this metro-sexual-could-be-gay vibe that you do. And might I add, you do it so well.”

Abby went over and hugged McGee tightly. “It doesn’t matter what orientation you are or what people think, just as long as you’re true to yourself.” When she released McGee, she turned and pointed a finger at Tony. “And you shouldn’t hurt him. He is sensitive.”

“Abby, he knows I’m just playing around. Come on, McGee, you know I adore you.”

“He’s only jealous because you’re more mature than he is,” Abby added, wrapping her arms around McGee once more.

Still leaning against Abby’s desk, Tony rolled his eyes at them. “Are we done with him, now? I had a serious issue I came down here to discuss with you.”

“Sure, Tony, what’s on your mind?”

“In private, Abby,” said Tony, nodding at McGee.

“You got to listen to him.”

“He was talking to me. I wanted to talk to you.”

“It’s about you and Gibbs, right?”

“Yes. It is.”

“Well, since you always tease Tim about not being very experienced with relationships, I think he should stay. He can learn about what you two are going through.”

“I don’t think Probie is planning to go out and pick up guys.”

This time McGee crossed his arms and widened his stance. “I think maybe I might. Since I have this whole metro-sexual thing going for me, maybe I should experiment with other sorts of relationship. Go ahead, Tony, I am ready to learn from you.”

“And just for the record, Gibbs hit on me.”

McGee looked pained and pulled out his wallet, handing a twenty over to Abby.

“Really McGee? You thought I hit on the boss?”

“Well, you do tend to flirt a lot. I thought maybe you got drunk or expanded your potential market. The boss is a silver fox. I could see myself hitting on him if I were gay. And older.”

“I am not gay,” Tony defended himself. “Or old.”

Abby leaned in with interest. “So Gibbs is the only guy you have every been with?”

“Well, no, but. Hey, this isn’t about me. And guys. And it was back in boarding school and college. Just experimenting and taking on dares. Maybe a little too much booze now and then, but still. Nothing since college until Gibbs hit on me.”

Moving closer, Abby patted Tony’s shoulder. “Relax stud-man, you know I don’t judge. What did you come down to ask me?”

“I was interested in what you thought about our relationship. Me and Gibbs.”

“I think it’s sweet.”

“Not quite what I was looking for, Abs.”

“Hot?”

Taking a moment, Tony rubbed his hand across his chin as he thought. As he searched for words, he paced across her office, carefully avoiding contact with Abby and McGee. “That night. In the hotel. Remember?”

“Tony, that was last weekend. Of course I remember.”

“Gibbs and I, when we were talking. Saying things. He was being so sweet, so attentive and romantic. I asked if it was real or part of the fantasy.”

“And?” Abby asked excitedly, waving her hands to encourage Tony to continue.

“He didn’t really answer. He just asked what I thought. It gave me a flashback. To Jeanne. When she asked if our relationship was real and I told her no. I lied to her. And I hurt her.”

Abby ran across the room to hug Tony. “This is totally different. You had to let Jeanne go. Gibbs is not going to. He’s not leaving you. He’s there for the long haul.”

Tony cocked his head at Abby, his expression pained and serious. “Really, Abs? What’s going to happen when some redhead turns his head?”

McGee chuckled, then stopped suddenly, wide-eyed when Tony and Abby glared at him. “Not that it would be funny for Gibbs to find a woman, Tony. It’s just that you’re more the gigolo type. You date far more than Gibbs and yet, you’re the one concerned. It’s kind of funny.” When he saw they were both still glaring his way, he tried again, “Maybe a little funny?”

“Can’t you just sit him down and ask him?”

“I tried. And he kept avoiding giving me a real answer.”

“That night? Or since then?”

“Just that night. Abs, he hasn’t even told Ducky about us yet.”

“Did he say why not?”

“Said the fewer people who knew about us, the better.” Tony swallowed deeply and lowered his voice. “Know what scares me, Abby?”

“What?”

“I think I’m really falling for him. Deeply. As in, I want to spend the rest of my life with him. In a relationship. And I don’t think he feels the same way about me.”

“He loves you, Tony. You know he does.”

“As a friend. As a lover, I’m just. Just a friend with benefits. He makes me feel like he only wants sex from me, not a real relationship.”

“You know how Gibbs is. He’s not so good with the feelings thing. He may not even know what he feels. You need to take some time with him. Private time. Just you two, no one else around. And ask him. You make him talk, Anthony DiNozzo.”

“I don’t think anyone can make Gibbs do anything.”

Abby took Tony’s hand into her own, their eyes meeting. “You can. I know you can. You need to work this out with him. You two are a couple and you need to work this out together. You need to tell him exactly how you feel. This weekend, Tony. And I want a full report on Monday. Or, you have my number, if you want to talk before then. Any time. Day or night.”

Tony nodded, then released her hand.

“You find a way, Tony,” Abby called after him.

***

Tony spent much of the afternoon lost in thought, more than once garnering a stare from Gibbs. Although he tried to keep his thoughts focused on work, they kept drifting back to Gibbs and trying to find a way to make him give Tony an honest answer about his feelings about their relationship.

It wasn’t until he got home, and read the short note on his calendar, that he knew what he was going to do. Considering the day it was, he felt it was likely Gibbs would stay at work late, catching up on reports. That would give Tony the time he needed to put a plan together and set it into motion.

***

Gibbs stayed at the office until after eight. Using both hands, he attempted to rub the tiredness and frustration from his face, then ran one hand through his hair before pushing back from his desk. He’d had enough of reports for one day. His eyes fell to his phone and he thought about calling Tony. He didn’t really want to be alone tonight. He also wasn’t sure he wanted company. Maybe he wanted Tony there, but he didn’t want to talk to anyone. Not tonight. His cell phone was ringing as he pulled it from the desk, checked the display, then shoved the unanswered phone into his pocket as he headed toward the elevator.

Gibbs drove home quickly. He had plans for tonight. There was a boat to be worked on and bourbon to be drank. And phones to be ignored. After parking his car, Gibbs made his way to his bedroom, shedding the attire he had worn to work in favor of a comfortable old sweatshirt and faded jeans, before heading into his basement.

After flipping on the light, he shuffled quickly down the stairs, heading straight for his workbench. His hands quickly found the bottle of bourbon and his coffee cup. There would be no short drinks tonight, he thought, pouring himself a double. After taking his first sip, then a second, he turned toward his land line and noticed the cord had been disconnected from the phone. He thought back to the morning, but didn’t remember doing that.

A moment later, his cell phone rang again and he pulled it from his pocket, checking the caller ID. Before he could find a jar of paint thinner to toss the phone into, another hand curled around the cell, taking it from Gibbs. He saw the phone flipped open, then turned off and he looked up into Tony’s face. 

Tony pressed an index finger to Gibbs’ lips and spoke softly. “I told dispatch to call me if anything came up this weekend.”

Gibbs smiled and looked down at Tony’s crotch, then returned his eyes to Tony’s.

“Okay,” Tony conceded. “They are to call me if anything work related comes up. Until then, we are going to share some of your fine bourbon and a bit of quality time together. Deal?”

“Only if what you mean by ‘quality time’ is sex.”

“Is that your game now? I’m just a sex toy to you? Nothing more?”

Gibbs settled one hand behind Tony’s neck, holding him firmly as he pressed his lips against Tony. “You are everything to me,” he whispered. “Everything.”

Tony fell into Gibbs’ arms, into his hungry kisses. Working his hands beneath Gibbs’ sweatshirt and T-shirt, Tony pressed his palms flat against Gibbs’ skin, then pushed the clothing upward, higher and higher until the shirts threatened to interfere with their passionate kisses.

Gibbs took it from there. His hands released Tony long enough to pull the shirts off together and toss them aside. His eyes locked on Tony’s. 

Once Gibbs’ torso was bare, Tony smiled and moved forward again. Pressing his lips against Gibb’s neck as his hands found Gibbs’ belt, tugging it off quickly before snapping it in the air and letting it drop.

Gibbs was on the move, not making it easy for Tony, his fingers at Gibbs’ hips. Tony nipped playfully at Gibbs’ skin, then licked along his neck, before launching another attack on his lips. Tony felt himself guiding the pair toward the comforters and blankets he had brought down for them, as protective bedding against the hard, cold concrete floor. 

Gibbs was pushing toward the stairs, but Tony dropped to his knees on the bedding, then used his teeth to undo Gibbs’ jeans, peeling the fabric downward once the zipper had been released. He looked up to see Gibbs’ head lolled back, his eyes closed as he moaned.

“Tony, Tony, just what I needed,” he muttered as Tony pulled Gibbs down onto the bedding.

With one hand firmly against Gibbs’ chest, Tony pushed him down, then moved his hand to Gibbs’ side, curving around his hip as he pressed his lips against Gibb’s chest. Taking his time, Tony teased Gibbs’ nipples as he sucked against his collarbone. Twining their legs together, Tony began rubbing his hard cock against Gibbs’ thighs, letting him know how ready he was.

It wasn’t like Gibbs to allow Tony to be on top for long, even during foreplay. Within minutes, Gibbs turned the tables on him, skillfully flipping Tony onto his back. Now it was Gibbs’ turn to take Tony’s clothing off. First he started with Tony’s button-down shirt. With every button he popped open, Gibbs dropped kisses lower and lower on Tony’s body until the final button was released and Tony lay panting as Gibbs fondled him through his slacks.

Closing his eyes, Tony fought not to come too soon. Tossing his head from side to side, he tried to carefully control his breathing, his hands settled on Gibbs’ muscular shoulders. “I need you, Jethro. Want you right now. Please, Jethro, please.”

Gibbs smiled, enjoying how well he could control the situation. After taking a moment to admire Tony’s shirtless body sprawled beneath him, Gibbs quickly undid Tony’s belt and pants, tugging them down as Tony raised his hips, then his ankles. This was one of the nights where Tony had decided not to bother wearing underwear, which pleased Gibbs to no end.

Using his knees, Gibbs pushed Tony’s legs apart and pressed their chests together. “Are you ever going to let me take you doggie style?”

Tony laughed gently and opened his eyes. “Maybe. I just love watching your eyes when you fuck me and seeing your face when you come.”

Gibbs pressed his mouth over Tony’s, sliding his tongue through inviting lips. He began humping as they kissed, then reached down to push his own underwear off, pleased when he felt Tony’s hands assisting his own.

“Did you bring lube down?” Gibbs asked between kisses.

“Yeah,” Tony answered breathlessly as he felt around until he found the lube between the fabric folds of the bedding. With the light shining from behind Gibbs’ head, Tony thought how the halo effect didn’t quite look right on Gibbs. Too much bastard in him for that.

“What’s so funny, Tony?” Gibbs asked as he pressed a well-lubed finger into Tony’s hole.

“Not funny, Jethro. Amazing. I can’t get over being here with you. It’s all so amazing.”

Gibbs rolled his eyes. He could still tell when DiNozzo was feeding him a line of bullshit. “Condoms?”

After wrapping his legs around Gibbs’ waist, Tony grabbed both of Gibbs’ wrists, pulling his lover down on top of him. “Please,” Tony begged. “I swear to you I’m clean. I know you are, too. Just once, Jethro, I want to feel you inside of me, touching me. Please take me without the condom so I can feel _you_. Please?”

Hearing Tony beg softened Gibbs’ heart and hardened his cock. Against his better judgment, he pressed his cock against Tony’s hole. “Are you sure?”

“I love you, Jethro. I trust you. I want you. If all I am to you is a random fuck, then tell me. I’ll go get the condoms. But if what we have is more than that, if you are devoted to this relationship, I want to move on. I want to feel you deep inside of me. I swear I haven’t fucked another man since college. And I’ve never fucked a woman without a condom in the last ten years.”

“Even Jeanne?”

“Never without a condom, Boss. I’m clean.”

As Tony’s last word left his lips, Gibbs pushed in fully, then gasped at the difference in the feeling. Tony was only hotter and slicker without the thin veil of a condom between them. The feeling was so much more intense.

“Fuck, Tony,” Gibbs moaned as he found his rhythm.

Tony let his hands caress Gibbs’ back and shoulders, feeling every muscle working to please him as they rocked together. Tony squeezed around Gibbs’ cock, eliciting a salacious moan.

Pressing his palms on either side of Tony for support, Gibbs leaned down to kiss him, resting his chest against Tony’s as he lifted one hand to massage Tony’s thigh, pulling it even higher up against his hip.

Tony wrapped his arms tightly against Gibbs’ back and drew him in closer, wanting to feel the heat and friction building between them. Turning his head to one side, Tony offered his neck to Gibbs, enjoyed the feel of Gibbs’ soft lips against his skin.

When he felt himself close to coming, Gibbs pushed himself up far enough that he could stroke Tony’s cock between them. The deep guttural sounds Tony made when Gibbs rubbed against his prostrate made it easy for Gibbs to judge his timing. Using his thumb, he teased the tip of Tony’s cock, spreading the pre-cum that was gathering. He felt the heat building as Tony’s fingers began to grasp Gibbs’ arms more tightly.

“Fuck, Jethro, I’m ready. Yes, yes, oh hell yes.”

Then something dropped suddenly and they heard glass shattering. It was enough to send Gibbs over the edge, taking Tony with him. Still riding the waves of his orgasm, Gibbs turned his head and faced the stairs, watching another man’s figure turn away. This wasn’t going to be easy.

“Wait!” Gibbs yelled. “Wait in the kitchen. I’m coming up.”

For a moment, he watched Tony, eyes closed and spent. Quiet, for once. Gibbs brushed his fingers through Tony’s hair and kissed his forehead.

Opening his eyes, Tony rubbed his hand along Gibbs’ forearm. “Is that who I thought it was?”

Gibbs nodded.

“Shit!”

“Tony, don’t worry about it. Okay?”

Tony nodded and watched as Gibbs pulled on his jeans and his sweatshirt, running his hands through his own hair before venturing up the stairs.

“Watch out for the broken glass,” Tony called as he finally pushed himself up, searching for his pants.

Gibbs took the steps two at a time as he headed up to his kitchen. On the table was a bottle of bourbon, two glasses poured. Gibbs took one and shot it back, slamming the empty glass onto the table.

Fornell sat across from him, obliging him by re-filling his glass.

“What are you doing here, Tobias?”

“Tried calling your phone and your cell. Both went to voicemail. I thought maybe you could use a drink, a friend, someone to talk to.”

“Seems to be going around this year.”

“Was that DiNozzo?”

Gibbs licked his lips and nodded. “Yeah. Look, Tobias. It’s complicated. But this is in my home. It’s my private life.”

“I just never would have guessed.”

“Like I said, it’s complicated,” Gibbs reiterated as he took another long drink. “We need each other. We are both suffering and we need to heal without hurting anyone else. I don’t know why, but this works for us.”

Fornell looked his old friend in the eye. He thought he knew as much about Leroy Jethro Gibbs as anyone else on the planet, but there was always still more to know. “I know how it is. The job, long hours. It takes a toll on your personal life, intimacy. It is difficult.”

Gibbs sighed and nodded. “I can’t face another failed marriage. Yet I need intimacy. Tony is, just what I need right now. We know each other. We understand each other and can give each other what we need for right now.”

“So neither of you has totally given up on women?”

Gibbs cracked a full smile and laughed. “Hell no, Tobias. Shit. Can you imagine DiNozzo _not_ flirting with women?”

Fornell joined in the laughter. “No, not really.”

“What we have, I’m not going to say it’s only a sexual thing because it’s more than that. We can talk to each other about other things, about the job, about relationships. It’s like we’re both a little broken, but we have what it takes to help fix each other.”

“So it’s not forever?”

“No,” Gibbs said softly, looking toward the basement door. “Just for as long as it takes.” Turning back to face Fornell, he added, “I do love Tony. I will always love Tony, but I promise I will never marry Tony. Satisfied?”

“I can’t say I completely understand this, but,”

“Not asking you to,” Gibbs said, cutting Fornell off. “I’m only going to ask that you keep this to yourself. Only my immediate team knows at NCIS. And Jenny. It doesn’t need to go any further. We’re not gay or even really bi. We just need each other right now. We have urges we need to take care of. We can satisfy each other and not have to deal with some woman’s bullshit.”

Fornell finished his drink and nodded as he rose to his feet. “I won’t say anything, Gibbs.”

“Thank you, Tobias.”

Gibbs walked Fornell to the door and watched him walk out to his car. When he returned to the kitchen, he saw Tony there, waiting, wearing his pants, but holding his shirt in his hand. There was pain in his expression as his eyes followed Gibbs.

Gibbs headed back to the table for a refill of bourbon before he faced Tony. “What?” he asked, a little more harshly than he intended. “Fornell won’t say anything. He’s good.”

“What about us?” Tony asked. “Are we good?”

Gibbs’ smile returned, remembering the sex they’d just had. “We are damn good.”

“Not what I meant,” said Tony as he began putting his shirt back on. “Happy anniversary, Gibbs.”

Gibbs watched as Tony turned from him, heading for the door, knowing he couldn’t let him walk away. In a moment, Gibbs had caught up to Tony, grasped his arm and spun him around so they stood face to face. Tony looked anything but happy. Gibbs studied his expression. Tony looked tired and used, maybe even a little fed up.

“Tony, stay. You’ve been drinking.”

A soft chuckle escaped from Tony as he looked down bitterly and shook his head. When his eyes met Gibbs’, he pointed out, “I notice when you want me to stay it’s usually because I’ve been drinking.”

“You shouldn’t be driving in your condition.”

With a twist of his arm, Tony wrenched himself from Gibbs’ grasp and headed for the door again.

“Tony!”

“I’ll sleep in my car until I’m sober enough to drive.”

As Tony reached to open the door, Gibbs placed his hand against it, holding it closed. “Tony, what’s going on with you? Don’t worry about Fornell. He gave me his word he wouldn’t say anything to anybody.”

“About what?” Tony asked harshly. “About me being your fuck toy?”

“Tony, please stay. We need to talk.”

“About what?”

“About whatever is bothering you.”

Tony laughed bitterly again. “Funny how I came over to cheer you up and I end up feeling like the one who’s been sucker punched.”

Gibbs felt lost. Stepping closer, he pulled Tony into his arms and pressing his cheek against Tony’s. “I don’t know what I did. Shit, Tony, you know I’m not good at this.”

“I’ll stay. In the basement.” Once again pulling himself away from Gibbs’ grasp, Tony headed toward the basement door. He knew Gibbs would follow him. Once he reached the bottom of the stairs, Tony headed to the workbench and poured bourbon into Gibbs’ cup, drinking from it as he waited.

Gibbs chuckled as he was nearing the bottom of the stairs, seeing his underwear hanging from the frame of his unfinished boat. “I wondered where those had gotten to.”

“Watch out for the broken glass,” Tony reminded him.

Gibbs walked up to Tony from behind, wrapping his arms around him, whispering in his ear, “You have to admit, seeing my skivvies on the hull is pretty funny.”

“I’m not in a laughing mood, Boss.”

The smile slipped from Gibbs’ face as he turned Tony around slowly. Tony’s eyes were teary and the sight chipped away at Gibbs’ heart. Taking both of Tony’s hands into his own, Gibbs began backing toward the pile of bedding Tony had brought down, leading Tony with him. Once they reached the bedding, Gibbs dropped to his knees, pulling Tony along with him. He then rolled onto his side, settling Tony down to face him.

“I need to know what you’re thinking, Tony.”

“You’re a top notch investigator. You tell me.”

“Do you really want me to interrogate you?”

“I just want the truth.”

“About what?” As he asked, Gibbs ran his hand up and down Tony’s arm. He wanted to touch, feel connected. “I have three ex-wives who will vouch for how bad I am with this sort of thing. You’re going to have to help me out a little bit. Please?”

“Do you think you’ll ever get married again?”

Gibbs chuckled again. “I don’t think my paycheck can support another ex-wife.”

“Is that why you let Colonel Mann go?”

“I’m not ready for that. I thought I might be ready, but I’m not. Not sure I ever will be.”

Tony nodded slowly, until Gibbs smacked the back of his head.

“Tony, whatever it is that’s bothering you, I want to know. Okay? Just say it already so we can deal with it.”

“You know I hurt Jeanne?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“It couldn’t be helped. Considering the circumstances.”

“I know. When you talk about our relationship, you make it sound like I’m your fuck toy. And nothing else.”

Reaching forward Gibbs ran his hand across Tony’s hair, petting him, comforting him. “Is that what you think?”

“I don’t know what to think. I love you. I feel like I am in love with you. I don’t want to be hurt. Not like I hurt Jeanne.”

Gibbs pulled Tony into a hug, nestling Tony’s head against his neck. “Tony, remember back to the day we met? You smiled at me and I swear my heart skipped a beat. I felt the butterflies in my stomach. I liked you from the moment our eyes met.”

“Me, too, Boss. I felt it, too.”

“I thought my gut was telling me that you’d make a good NCIS agent.”

“You meant a great NCIS agent, right?”

“Yeah. One day. I watched you work. I knew you needed more that what you were getting on the Police force. You needed someone who could challenge you. Someone who would push you and teach you. That’s why I offered you a job. And through the years I’ve watched you develop into a good agent and eventually into a great agent.”

Pausing for a moment, Gibbs rested his hand on the back of Tony’s head and kissed his hair. “You’ve become everything to me. My partner, my teammate, my friend, my confidant and my lover. Everything.”

“At the hotel, when we were having dinner, I asked you if this was real. If I truly brought out the romantic side of you or if it was just a part you were playing, part of the fantasy. And you asked what I thought. Like you didn’t know how to answer, or if you answered truthfully it would ruin the night.”

Gibbs nodded slowly as he remembered the night. “I thought something changed in you that night, but I couldn’t quite identify it.”

Tony took Gibbs’ hand into his own. “I wanted it to be real, Jethro. I wanted to be the one who put a light in your eye. The one who brought out the romantic side of you. I wanted to be the one you were in love with.”

Holding Tony’s face between his hands, Gibbs pressed their lips together for a lingering kiss. “I do love you.”

“There’s a difference, Gibbs. There’s loving someone as a friend then there is being in love with someone who makes you a better version of yourself. Someone who brings out the spark in you. I hoped I was more than a fuck toy to you, Gibbs. I wanted to be someone you were in love with. Someone you wanted to share more than just sex with.”

“Tony, there is so much to our relationship. And you do bring out the romantic in me. Honestly. It’s true. I love being with you and it is more than just sex between us. I love holding you and talking with you. I enjoy just lying beside you in bed on Sunday mornings. I’m just not good at verbalizing that stuff.”

“You pretty much told Fornell I was your fuck toy. Just someone to take care of your physical urges. And you won’t even tell Ducky. I don’t understand that.”

“I told Fornell that we’re not gay or bi. That’s the truth. Isn’t it? I’m drawn to you, Tony, but not to other men. Hell, I’m not even sure I completely understand my feelings for you. But they’re there. I promise you, they’re there and it’s more than just as a fuck toy or a co-worker or even as a friend. You hold the key to an intimate part of my heart. I don’t let many people get that close to me and I have to tell you, it’s a little bit frightening to find yourself in love with another man for the first time. I don’t know what to tell Fornell. I don’t want to ruin your career or mine. I don’t know what Ducky would think. I don’t want to disappoint him.”

“What about disappointing me?”

“Tony, you own part of my heart. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to share you. When I said I didn’t care if you still dated women, that was because they’re arm candy. They’re part of your image, like designer suits and sunglasses. I know you don’t love them. I don’t like watching you flirt with every skirt you see, but I don’t care if people still think you’re a womanizer. Maybe I don’t want people to know about our relationship because I don’t want to lose you or share you with another man. I want you to be mine, completely, heart and soul.”

After pressing another kiss into Tony’s hair, Gibbs gave him one more hug before settling them down to sleep. “I love you, Tony. Always,” he whispered as they drifted off.

~~~END~~~  
Jan 10 2010


End file.
